Wow, Girl Child is killing it. Four 90k novels before being legally able to vote? 👊
I believe that you will accomplish what you really want to accomplish, when you're ready to accomplish it.
And, since we are engaging in parlor-room psychoanalysis, here's mine: You do not complete a novel because that allows you to stay in the perpetual state of creation, which is a wonderful place to be. "Finished" is as yet an unknown state, which you fear because it implies an end to the creation state.
I can only tell you what kept me from writing for a very long time: a combination of fear, low-self esteem, and something else I still can't exactly put my finger on. I've wanted to be a published writer since I was fifteen and writing had been in fits and spurts--usually only when I felt like it.
But I only truly feel like I've accomplished something when I'm writing (or have written, ha, I know you understand this) and get really down on myself when I'm not writing. Which was a LOT.
And then late March 2020 happened and my job (I work in a call center) didn't know what to do with us, so we all went home and were "on call" for about ten weeks, then they moved us to emails from home. I had all this extra time on my hands and wanted to write but couldn't get myself to do it. Then something my mom said made it click for me (and I wish I could remember exactly what it was, but I can't find the email) and I started writing. My goal was 500 words every day. And I stuck with that for almost two years. Some days I had to make the goal 100 words, knowing I'd do more once I got started, but I wrote every day.
And in a year, I'd written two 85000 word books.
Life happened HARD at the beginning of 2022 and my writing went steadily downhill. Right now I'm lucky if I write once a week. Most days I'm too tired. Sometimes I get a burst of "just do it it'll make you feel better," and it does, but it doesn't carry over to the next day. Every day I don't write is a day I feel like I'm not doing anything with my life and I'm going to be stuck in job I hate until I die.
What I'll say that I think may resonate with you, with what little you've said about your life, is that working a job that doesn't pay you enough to live on and having to work a second (and third) job kills the spirit and desire to do anything but rest when you've not working. I think you can absolutely write as many books as you want. I also think you're emotionally, physically, and spiritually exhausted, which takes a toll on every aspect of life.
So my only piece of advice is this: try to write 100 words a day. Some days maybe you only eke out twenty words, but you've WRITTEN. And on the days when you just absolutely can't, give yourself grace.
Wow, Girl Child is killing it. Four 90k novels before being legally able to vote? 👊
I believe that you will accomplish what you really want to accomplish, when you're ready to accomplish it.
And, since we are engaging in parlor-room psychoanalysis, here's mine: You do not complete a novel because that allows you to stay in the perpetual state of creation, which is a wonderful place to be. "Finished" is as yet an unknown state, which you fear because it implies an end to the creation state.
I can only tell you what kept me from writing for a very long time: a combination of fear, low-self esteem, and something else I still can't exactly put my finger on. I've wanted to be a published writer since I was fifteen and writing had been in fits and spurts--usually only when I felt like it.
But I only truly feel like I've accomplished something when I'm writing (or have written, ha, I know you understand this) and get really down on myself when I'm not writing. Which was a LOT.
And then late March 2020 happened and my job (I work in a call center) didn't know what to do with us, so we all went home and were "on call" for about ten weeks, then they moved us to emails from home. I had all this extra time on my hands and wanted to write but couldn't get myself to do it. Then something my mom said made it click for me (and I wish I could remember exactly what it was, but I can't find the email) and I started writing. My goal was 500 words every day. And I stuck with that for almost two years. Some days I had to make the goal 100 words, knowing I'd do more once I got started, but I wrote every day.
And in a year, I'd written two 85000 word books.
Life happened HARD at the beginning of 2022 and my writing went steadily downhill. Right now I'm lucky if I write once a week. Most days I'm too tired. Sometimes I get a burst of "just do it it'll make you feel better," and it does, but it doesn't carry over to the next day. Every day I don't write is a day I feel like I'm not doing anything with my life and I'm going to be stuck in job I hate until I die.
What I'll say that I think may resonate with you, with what little you've said about your life, is that working a job that doesn't pay you enough to live on and having to work a second (and third) job kills the spirit and desire to do anything but rest when you've not working. I think you can absolutely write as many books as you want. I also think you're emotionally, physically, and spiritually exhausted, which takes a toll on every aspect of life.
So my only piece of advice is this: try to write 100 words a day. Some days maybe you only eke out twenty words, but you've WRITTEN. And on the days when you just absolutely can't, give yourself grace.